Like A Cheetah

As I reflected on today's earlier post while doing my daily meditation yoga in my prayer pagoda, I realized, first of all, that I have lots of issues, and secondly, that memorizing routines for my Zumba classes is not helping to relieve any of my stress.

For some reason this has led to me thinking about my numerous irrational fears. Actually, lets use the word unusual. I read in a magazine article once that no fear is irrational. Or did I hear that on a commercial for anti-anxiety meds? I can't remember.

Anyways,

I'm going to tell you all about my unusual fears, because, unless social networking trends have lied to me, this, and everything else I do, is worth making you read about.

1) I hate matches. I use the extra long ones that people usually use to light their grills when I have to light a candle.

2) Like matches, I find sparklers or any small, sparking or exploding object to be terrifying.

3) People holding flashlights at night is possibly the most horrifying thing ever. If I see someone in the distance using a flashlight, I will run. Obviously they're looking for someone to kill if they have a flashlight. Everyone knows that normal people don't need them.

4) I never allow sharp objects near my wrists or neck, and if for some reason one comes near me I have to literally keep myself from throwing up.

5) Whenever I go to a large event I'm paranoid that someones going to start a shooting rampage or blow something up. (All events with 50 or more people should have security, sort of like at airports, but more thorough, and all the guards would have missile launchers in case of an aerial attack)

I feel like that's probably all you can handle for now, because if foreign movies have taught me anything, it's that I have to bring out the interesting things in moderation so you don't lose your interest before we even get going. And like my personal trainer tells me every eight hours when I go to the gym, you have to be like a cheetah. They don't use all their energy at once. They pace themselves so they can go farther.





So just remember, if you see the light of a flashlight.... RUN. Like a cheetah.