Text Me

I tend to forget about things a lot, like how every person in America forgets about professional soccer the day after the World Cup ends. Sometimes it's simple things, like forgetting to get off the treadmill when I listen to my hypnotics tapes, or forgetting everything good that's ever happened in the world when I'm in a bad mood. But one thing I never forget is to check the spelling of my text messages. Unintentional misspellings in texts is like wearing white after whatever thing you can't wear white after, in that only people who are jerks care about it. But if there's one lesson I learned from being in all those bad moods, it's that a lot of people are jerks, so you have to be careful--

(Before I go on, I just want to comment on the fact that the cars outside my house sound much louder than normal right now, and I don't know if it's because I have to pee or because I have increased hearing because of my smoothie sugar high, but I know it's one of those two things)

--because before you know it your inbox will be filled with messages that just say "ok" and "haha" without any proper punctuation or capitalization, proving you are not worth any effort whatsoever. It's a slippery slope, but that's how it goes when you don't like the pope (you see, it's funny because it rhymes and because it has an underlying message that not being catholic will lead to bad decisions. I know it's not totally solid. You're thinking about it too much. Just go with it, for goodness sake! I don't have to explain myself to you).

The most important thing is that communication, especially technological, is not for the weak. For example, it's very easy to be hurtful in a text because there are no direct consequences. You might never even see the person again, which makes everyone suddenly grow a pair. And the best part is that it's mostly done through innuendo and not really saying what you're saying, so you can always claim you weren't really saying what the person claims you were saying when they send you a text confronting you about what you were saying. If you find yourself doing this, it's probably time you took a little break from technology, like Ryan Seacrest did from being talented.

Now, before I say too many negative things and unintentionally force you all onto the bummer train, I'm going to leave you with this and pretend like I don't know what you're talking about when you text me about it tomorrow.